How to Write Your Own Vows

How to Write Your Own Vows – Have you decided to combine the perfect event to honor the vows you made in your wedding. Now, we often wonder how to write our own vows and for this purpose we decided to come up with this article that will guide you through your self-written vows like a pro!

You have been planning your dream wedding for months. As the big day approaches, so does your last chance to surprise your future spouse with a unique set of wedding vows.

Thinking about writing your own wedding vows? It’s a tremendous undertaking, summing up your love, dreams, and promises to your partner in a few short minutes. Overwhelming as it can be, it’s well worth it: It’s a chance to tell your story, give guests a peek into what makes your relationship tick, and share meaningful words with the person you love.

It’s also intimate. After all, you’re really baring your heart to the love of your life, and you’re doing so in front of your family and closest friends. If you’re up for the challenge, we’re here to help along with several experts—author and wedding officiant Monique Honaman; Alexis Dent, founder of vow- and toast-writing company XO Juliet; and celebrity officiant JP Reynolds, M.Div.—who offer their own professional insight.

5 Things to Include in Your Vows — Brooke Pelczynski/Brides

From examples and advice to sources of inspiration, here is everything you need to know to write your own wedding vows.

Table of Contents

Wedding Vow Template

While traditional wedding vows are usually very structured, you don’t have to be quite as strict while writing your own. This outline is a great place to help you get started.

Say “I love you.” This seems like a no-brainer, but Honaman says she is shocked at how many couples leave those three little words out of their vows.
Tell your partner you’ll be there through thick and thin. Most wedding vows touch on sticking around through good times and bad. “The reality is all marriages have cycles of peaks and valleys,” Honaman says. “It’s nice to communicate your intent to get through those valleys together.”
Share personal stories. It’s so much more interesting for friends or family to hear about your odd quirks and raw personal moments. “Guests (and your S.O.) want to hear vows that are real,” says Dent. “If you’ve been through bumpy spots, you should express that.”
Actually make promises. Vows aren’t just cute anecdotes—they are a promise and serious commitment that you’re making in front of a whole lot of witnesses. That doesn’t mean they have to be heavy though. “You can vow to not only stick by their side forever but to also be the one to kill spiders whenever they creep their way into your home,” says Dent.
Acknowledge the support you’ll need from others. You’ve gathered your friends and family to celebrate your wedding, but you’ll need them just as much during your marriage. Honaman recommends you acknowledge “the role of family and friends who will help support you when times get tough.”

Wedding Vow Tips

Here are our experts’ top tips for writing—and delivering—your own wedding vows.

Don’t wait until the last minute. Plan to have your vows written three weeks before your wedding. Trust us: You’ll be thankful for the rehearsal when those wedding-day jitters kick in.
Make a list of all your thoughts. Jot down all the things that come to mind about your spouse or marriage. Revisit these notes later and highlight your favorite items to be the starting points for your vows.
Write up to three drafts. Take a few days—even a week—to give you and your vows some space. Go back and reread them up to three times, but try to stop there. Continuously rewriting has its own challenges.
Don’t try to include everything. It’s understandable to want to fit everything you’re feeling into your vows—but in reality, you just can’t include it all.
Avoid words like “always” and “never.” This kind of absolute language is all but impossible to live up to. It’s not always going to be easy, so don’t promise perfection.
Embrace sentimentality. This isn’t the time to worry about being corny or cheesy. “If the words are heartfelt, then they’re not cheesy,” says Reynolds, M.Div. “I’ve never heard vows that made me roll my eyes.”
Go after laughter. The ability to make your significant other smile and even laugh out loud during your ceremony will serve you well in your marriage.
Get inspired by books, songs, movies, and poems. If you have a favorite line from a movie or song that expresses your feelings, use it as a starting point. And don’t discount children’s books or media as they often have a way of communicating deep, complex emotions in simple sentences.
Practice reading out loud. The only way to make sure everything sounds perfect is to hear it out. “Reading your vows out loud will help you catch spots where the grammar might be iffy or where you’re missing a word as well as figure out if the structure is cohesive,” Dent explains.
Indicate pauses and intonation. “You’ll want to allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow,” says Dent. “For the best comprehension and emotional reactions, take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.”
Ask a trusted friend to listen. A close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) is an important ally to have. “They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you really get that meaning across,” says Dent.
Make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony. It’s important to think about how the vows will look when they come into public view. Rewrite or reprint a fresh copy, or consider reading them from vow books. “Yes, the focus will be on the words themselves, but the aesthetics matter, too,” says Dent.
Keep the vows a secret from your partner until the ceremony. “Your vows are a gift to one another, so don’t share them ahead of time,” Reynolds explains. It will make the ceremony all the more impactful and emotional if you’re hearing them for the first time.

Answer These Questions to Get Started

A vow exchange should be an even one. Instead of thinking about it as a writing competition, get on the same page about your expectations and come to an agreement about the following.

How long should the vows be?
Will you share inside jokes or would you rather keep things more generic?
Will they lean more humorous or sentimental? Or be a mixture of both?
Do you want to incorporate elements of traditional or religious vows into your own?

The Ultimate Wedding Ceremony Guide

Wedding Vow Examples to Inspire Your Own

“Gabriel, you came into my life at exactly the right time: When I wasn’t ready, and yet, when I needed your love the most. In the past two years, we’ve experienced great triumphs and literal disasters together. These trials have pushed the boundaries of what we thought we could endure, and in the end, I feel more strongly connected with you in a resolve to get up and try again. I love you dearly for all that you are. I am amazed by your inquisitive mind and tickled by your sense of humor. I may not want to admit it, but I even love your awful puns.

You have stuck by me through the best and worst and loved all that I am. You help me to be the finest version of me that I can.

As your wife, I promise to love you with the same determination and confidence you’ve given me. I vow to support you through more ups and downs. I pledge to commit myself to our family and the good I know will grow from it. I promise this all to you until I am no more.”—Marissa

“Marissa, I love you with all my heart. I have been thankful for these past two years that you were not the best driver on that fateful day. Stopping in the middle of a busy 90/04 to see if everyone was okay, there I met the woman who is standing before me today. When we started dating, I gained a family, a woman who loves me, and an adorable whippet—both of whom I adore with all my heart. We have survived trials and tribulations, from Hurricane Irma to differing political views, we have pulled through.

We are survivors and with our perseverance and dedication, there is nothing we can’t accomplish or overcome.

I promise to take care of you even when you get food poisoning on New Year’s Eve. I promise I will unclog the shower even though only one of us has long hair. Marissa, I love you unconditionally and always will.” —Gabriel

“Devin Lee, it is impossible for me to put into words the passionate and infinite embrace you have on my heart. You make me a full person. Committing the rest of my life to you is actually pretty easy because without you I am nothing. As we begin our life together in front of those whom we are closest to, I make the following vows: I vow to wake up every morning and thank God that he gave me you, my perfect woman, and I vow to be your steady rock in turbulent times. I vow to put your needs before my own.

I vow to sell my tacky furniture. I vow to watch reruns of Gilmore Girls and Friends.

I vow to be the man that you inspire me to be and the man that you deserve. Finally, I vow to spend every day I have left on this Earth showering you with a zealous love and a faithful commitment. A love that many waters cannot quench, a love that floods cannot drown.” —Jeremy

“Jeremy, I can’t say we fell in love at first sight or that I wasn’t hesitant to go on a date with a co-worker, but I can say with 100 percent certainty that today, I am marrying my soul mate. A few years back I heard a sermon about love. I learned that, even though I felt ready for the responsibilities of a lasting love, I had to wait. I had to wait for the person God created for me to be ready as well. During our first few months, I learned about your adventures and how you came back home because you were ready—from that moment on I knew my wait was over.

Over the last two years you’ve shown me what a great love looks like and every morning I wake up and fall more in love with you.

I vow to put us first and make sure we are constantly working to grow together. I vow to love you and honor our commitment when we are near and far from each other. I vow to remember soup is a side—not a meal. I vow to stand by you in life’s wonderful moments and when life is difficult. Also, for making me wait so long—I vow to make you wait on me getting ready for the rest of your life. Jeremy, you’re the person I waited for and you were worth the wait. Today I become your wife, your other half, and I can’t wait for all the blessings we will wait for together.” —Devin Lee

“Kristen, as the cliché says, you showed up when I was least expecting you. I intend to love you, hold you, and grow very, very old with you. These are my promises: I promise to always be there when you have troubles, and to know that sometimes simply letting you talk about your problems is enough. I promise to be the most dependable person in your life. I promise you that laughter will always be commonplace in our house. I promise to do my best to age gracefully in body and soul and not to become a cranky old man.

I promise, from this day forward, to live my life as a member of a band and not a solo artist.

I promise to lead and follow accordingly and to keep our relationship in good balance. To quote a favorite writer, ‘You fill up all those empty spaces.’ For that I am grateful, and every day you will see that appreciation.” —Dennis

“Dennis, I am truly blessed to be a part of your life, which as of today becomes our life together. I promise to encourage your dreams because that is what makes you so unique. I promise to celebrate the joy of every day with you. I promise to stand by your side through life’s most joyous moments and challenging ones. I promise to be kind, patient, and forgiving. I promise to always honor your passion for hockey.

I promise to always remember that laughter is life’s sweetest creation, and I will never stop laughing with you.

But most of all, I promise to be your true companion always, for one lifetime with you could never be enough.” —Kristen more in

Wedding Vows for Her

Some have imagined reciting bridal vows for years, envisioning family tearing up in the pews of a hometown church; others may be thinking about it for the first time. Either way, it’s time to imagine what your own special words will sound like. Do you want to keep things short and pure or make your sentiments poetic and intimate? These examples of wedding vows for her range from romantic to religious and guarantee to give any bride a great place to start.

Short Wedding Vows for Her

I love you with my whole heart with a passion that can’t be expressed in words, only in kisses, glances, and years of adventure by your side.
I promise to be your honest, faithful, and loving wife for the rest of my days.
I pledge to honor you, love you and cherish you as my husband today and every day.
Today I say, “I do” but to me that means, “I will”. I will take your hand and stand by your side in the good and the bad. I dedicate myself to your happiness, success, and smile. I will love you forever.
You are my every dream come true, and I can’t wait for the reality we get to build together.
I promise to be your guiding light in the darkness, a warming comfort in the cold, and shoulder to lean on when life is too much to bare on your own.
Give me your hand, and I will give you forever.
You are loved more than any metaphor can ever try to express – my love, my husband.
I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles and to look to you when I need protection.
“There is no remedy for love” says Thoreau, “but to love more”. Today and forever I will follow his advice and seek my remedy in your arms.
You make me laugh, you make me think, and above all, you make me happy.
I promise to be your navigator, best friend, and wife. I promise to honor, love, and cherish you through all life’s adventures. Wherever we go, we’ll go together.

Romantic Wedding Vows for Her

I choose you and promise to choose you as my husband every day we wake. I will love you in word and deed. I will laugh with you, cry with you, scream with you, grow with you, and craft with you. To be your kin and your partner in all of life’s adventures is all I could hope for in the world. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I don’t yet know, I give you my hand. I give you my love. I give you myself, the good, the bad, and the yet to come.
You love me in love and complete me in ways I never knew possible. From this day forth, I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will celebrate your successes and mourn your losses as though they were my own. I will love you, my husband, and rejoice in your love for me for all of the years of our lives.
Today, surrounded by all of your loved ones, I choose you to be my husband. I am proud to be your wife and to join my life with yours. I vow to support you, inspire you, and love you always. For as long as we both shall live, I will be by your side–for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer. You are my one and only today and every day.
How lucky am I to call you mine? Your love and trust makes me a better person, each and every day. For all those times that we’ve been together, there’s always been a mutual understanding that’s only shared when two people love each other truly. You were there for my greatest challenges. You encouraged me to grow. You helped believe in myself and become the person that I am today. In your arms and by your side, I know I can do anything. I’m proud to call you my husband.
I’m madly in love with you, my husband. Not only do I promise that my love for you will grow with each day, but I promise to be your friend and partner every step of the way. I will be there for you, day or night, in richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I trust, appreciate, cherish, and respect you. I promise to share with you my hopes and dreams as we build our lives together. You, my love, are my everything.

Religious Wedding Vows for Her

I love you. I prayed that God would lead me to this choice, to you as my husband. I praise Him tonight as His will is being fulfilled. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise you and Him my faithfulness, to stand beside you through all of life’s experiences as you follow God.
In faith, honesty, and love, take you to be my wedded husband. I pledge to share with you God’s plan for our lives together united in Christ. For better, for worse, in sickness and in health, in joys and in sorrows, until death do we part–I promise you all of this and more with God’s help to strengthen and guide me as your supportive wife. I give you all that I have myself and my love. All these things I pledge to thee in the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ. With this ring I seal my vow of love to you and pray I may fulfill God’s place in our home.
My love, I give you this ring. Wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be mine. I choose you to be my husband to have and to hold, from this day forward. I pledge you my faithfulness to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself. I His sight we shall be one.
I love you, and I thank the Lord for the love that has bound our hearts and live together in the spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor, and cherish you always. As we enter upon the privileges and joys of life’s most holy relationship and begin together the great adventure of building a Christian home, I will look to you as a partner and leader in our home as I have looked to Christ as the Head of the Church. I will love you in sickness as in heath, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God’s grace, trusting in Him, so long as we both shall live.
In faith, honestly, and love, I take you as my wedded husband, to share with you in God’s plan for our lives together united in Christ. I commit to you this day all that I am and all that I can love. I pledge to you, in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Before Him I offer this ring as a symbol of my love for you and a symbol of unity. I pray to faithfully fulfill my place as your helpmate and to uphold you in prayer as submit my heart to you. I pray to always be by and on your side and to always keep the presence of the Lord in our home.

Credit: Neustockimages/Getty Images

Wedding Vows for Him

One glace at your bride and your heart is sure to flutter. Calm your jitters and help yourself be totally in the moment with prepared, personalized wedding vows that express your whole heart. If you’re not sure where to start, take a look at these sample wedding vows for him. They’re sure to give you an idea of how to let your fiancée and soon-to-be wife know exactly how much you care.

Short Wedding Vows for Him

Give me your bad hair days, your long commutes, your burnt coffee, and lost keys. Give me your everyday, and I will give you my love to make it alright.
Today, I promise to be your navigator and sidekick in all of life’s adventures. I promise to be your best friend and your husband. I promise you myself completely.
Your love gives me hope. Your smile gives me joy. You make me a better man.
When I am with you everything else fades to the background. You flood my senses with joy. You are my life, my greatest gift. I’m so lucky to call you my loving wife.
My life is forever entangled with yours from this day on. My dreams are your dreams, and I’ll build it all around you.
Forever with you simply will not be enough, but from this day forward, I vow to make the most of every moment.
Today I join my life to yours, not simply as your husband, but as your friend, your lover, and your biggest supporter. Let me be the shoulder you lean on and the companion of your life.
With this ring I promise you that you’ll never have to face the world alone.
I promise to be there to catch you if you should stumble, carry you over every threshold, and fall in love with you every day.
I pledge today to have all the patience and passion that love demands. In the laughter and in the silence, I’ll be forever by your side.
You’re everything that I ever dreamed of and everything I will ever need. Our love for each other is heaven sent. Today I vow to be here with you and for you, forever and always.
I love you more fiercely with every second that slips through our hands. With you, I can make the most of my days.

Romantic Wedding Vows for Him

You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn’t know I needed, and the joy that I didn’t know I lacked. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you.
You have made me the happiest man on the world today by agreeing to share your life with me. I promise to cherish and respect you. I promise to care for you and protect you. I promise to comfort you and encourage you. I promise to be with you for all of eternity.
I promise to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient, and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love. I promise to nurture your dreams and to help you reach them. I promise to share my whole heart with you, and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way. I promise to love you loyally and fiercely—as long as I shall live.
Do you remember the very first day that we met? I knew the very first moment I saw you. I knew we were meant to be together for all of our days. You have become my lover, my companion, and my best friend. There’s no one else I’d want to build a life with. I get to have you by my side, my love and my wife, for eternity.
The sun smiles on us today, our wedding day, and how can it not. With our hearts beating together as one, our love warms the world. I love you with all my heart. You’re my love, light and soulmate. You’re the person that keeps me singing, smiling, and laughing. I give you this ring as a sign of my love that’s forever, eternal and never ending, like the circle in this ring.

Religious Wedding Vows for Him

I love you and I know that this love is from God. I want to be your husband so that we might serve Christ together. Through all of the uncertainties and trials of the present and future, I promise to be faithful to you and love you. I promise to guide and protect you as Christ does his church, as long as we both shall live.
I take you to be my wife, before God who brought us together, to love and cherish you even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, to lead you and share all of life’s experiences with you by following God through them.
In faith, honesty, and love, I take you to be my wedded wife, to share with you God’s plan for our lives together united in Christ. And with God’s help, to strengthen and guide me, I will be a strong spiritual leader for us in our life, for better, for worse, in sickness, and in health, in joys, in sorrows, until death do we part.
I love you and thank the Lord for the love that bound our hearts and lives together in the spiritual fellowship of marriage. I will love, honor, and cherish you always. I will love you in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth, in sorrow as in joy, and will be true to you by God’s grace, trusting in Him, so long as we both shall live.
I promise to love you above all others and to value you in my life as a precious gift. I look forward to raising our family and building our relationship under the care and guidance of God. I promise to stand beside you as your husband and friend in sickness or health, in times of prosper and decline, in peace and in turmoil, as long as we both shall live.

The two said “I do” at Saint Andrew Chapel surrounded by friends and family. | Credit: The Happy Bloom

Funny Wedding Vows

Who says you can’t be tender and funny at the same time? Add a bit of lighthearted fun into your wedding ceremony with a joke that’s sure to make your partner smile. Whether you poke fun at one of your own faults or hers, funny wedding vows can add a glimpse of real life into a fairytale setting. Here are a few sample ideas to get you started.

I vow to always put you first, even during football season.
I promise to never keep score, even when I’m clearly winning.
You’re the French fries to my chocolate shake.
When I say, “I do,” I don’t mean the dishes.
I promise to hire a professional, even if I really want to try to do it (and probably make it worse) myself.
I promise to continue to make your friends jealous of our amazing relationship.
I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair.
I vow to take your hand when it’s too dark, and the dog out when it’s too early.
I promise to love you for eternity and to trust you with my credit card.

Conclusion

Wedding vows are something I see clients struggle with all the time. They think marriage is simple, and they will do it without any planning. But there is so much more to writing wedding vows than you might imagine.

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